Making Amends

This is a picture of my last girlfriend, my friend who came out the same time I did and other friends.
L to R
Back
Benny Russell, Nancy, George, Dan
Front
Me and Lisa Anderson.Benny, Lisa and I all worked together at Roth Mt. Vernon 1 & 2 theatres in Alexandria, VA.
Lisa was the assistant manager.
Benny and I were cashier/candy stand/ticket takers etc.
I was fairly certain I was Gay but still wasn't 100%. Benny was still in the closet when we worked there.
Well, I ended up dating Lisa for a while. She was very nice and we had some fun times together. She was my first....
However, after I left for college I finally came to terms with being Gay. I didn't handle it very well in terms of my dealings with Benny and Lisa. Let's just say alcohol was then a problem for me and I didn't act very sober in some of my dealings with them.
Benny and Dan were roommates and became friends.
Lisa and Nancy were friends. Benny started taking Lisa to The Lost and Found, the Gay Bar we went to together. That's where we met George.
Eventually Lisa and I made peace and this photo was taken on one of our trips out to go dancing.
I got to make an amends to Benny later as we got to see one another in Los Angeles. I have lost touch with Lisa over the years.
I wish I could just thank her for her friendship and apologize for not handling matters better. I did the best I could, at the time.
That's all part of growing up too.
I hope all are well!

The Westbrook Family

Here are some more of the Westbrook Family photos.

At the beach in Hawaii. Dad, Sonya, Terry and Me. Prob 1963 or 64


Dad wrote on the back "Gladys and Tom Westbrook, probably mid-late 40's, 3 miles east of Claflin. Just south of Ks Hwy#4. Black cocker spaniel was named Major"

Me and Randy, prob 1964 in Hawaii

Dolores and Dad when they came to visit me in Los Angeles, 1988.

Me in my high chair, looking precocious, Hawaii prob 1961

Grandpa Tom Westbrook and Tony sitting on his knee at Buckskin Street, prob 1967

The Night I Realized I Had a Drinking Problem CLICK HERE

This was the night I realized I had a problem. Hence, The Wizard of Oz playing so heavily in my sobriety.

We did this show, and afterwards they fed us actors...and the table had food as well as 5 or 6 open wine bottles. I had made a mistake in the show..flubbed a line...so was beating myself up...AND...started drinking wine like water....at one point I noticed nobody else was downing wine like I was...but that didn't stop me..and I ended up driving home drunk...30 miles...the next morning I woke up..hung over...and called my friend David to take me to a meeting...my first sobriety date was Aug. 5, 1995...and I am speaking at a meeting next week..Aug. 5th 2009...

I think this video was done the first week of August 1995.

I was supposed to qualify at an AA meeting Wednesday night, but it turned out to be an AAnniversary meeting so my friend asked me to come back next week.

AND the meeting is in a church across the street from where the Continental Baths used to be, where Bette Midler sang in the Baths with Barry Manilow. Now it is a hotel and fancy store. How fun!
Just thought you'd like to see!

(This is across the street from the meeting. Used to be the Continental Baths, in the basement)

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane THE MUSICAL CLICK HERE

David Frable rewrote the lyrics to "Oliver" and "Food Glorious Food" as songs for a musical version of "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane". We were doing "Oliver" for The Arlington Players in Arlington, VA in 1984. He played Mr. Bumble and I had various chorus parts.
He brought the lyrics to rehearsal one night and I HOWLED!! He was such a funny and creaitve man!!!
Sadly, we lost him to AIDS in 1996. I had done this number in a cabaret in 1992, but I told him that any chance I get to do a song for him, I would do so.
Well, now with technology and YouTube, I can pay tribute to a funny, creative, sweet, caring man.
Here's to you David Frable!

Two Things You Will Probably Never See Again!

Randy skinny and Sonya in a dress! HAH! (Just kidding...sorta).

Right is at Randy and June's wedding. Sept. 1991

Left is when Randy "graduated" from boot camp for the Marines on Parris Island. Not sure of the date, but probably mid 80's.

For Dawn - Oh What a Beautiful Day CLICK HERE

As I mentioned in the earlier post, when I did my first "gig" at the Rose Tattoo, I closed with a singalong to "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" from OKLAHOMA as a tribute to my friend Dawn Huber. She was "in the house" and I got it all on video. It's a bit washed out, but I think you can see how happy she was and how much fun we had.

Thank God for modern technology. We get to preserve our memories!!!

The Goddess Bunch

Dawn sent me this Christmas Card she sent out this past Christmas and I had to share it. So fun! Creative! Just like Dawn! Dawn, her partner Di, her kids and her grandkids. Wow!!
CLICK ON THE PICS TO ENLARGE VIEW


TOP
Evan (my 24-year-old son)
Alex (my 23-year-old son)
Kevin (Hallie's Baby Daddy #2 - father of the 2 youngest grandkids)
MIDDLE:
Di, me and Hallie
On Our Laps
Claire (age 5)
Aiden (age 2)
Kayla (age 1)

Lead the Way - Dawn and Di 8/11/01

One of the happiest and proudest moments of my life was singing "Lead the Way" (a Kenny Loggins song) at the commitment ceremony of my friend Dawn Huber and her partner Di VanHorn in Malibu, CA on Aug. 11, 2001.
It was a beautiful day and Dawn had asked me to sing "Lead the Way" as they entered the room for the beginning of the ceremony. My friend Tim Doran played and as the beautiful couple entered the room to be greeted by family and friends, I sang their song. It was a gorgeous day and as they stood looking out at the water side by side, the final notes of the song played. Simply heaven!
Dawn and I had worked together at MCA/Universal Home Video. Dawn was a single mother raising 3 children and was so loving and supportive to all of us. She is the one who encouraged me to put together a show and do my first nightclub act. She herself had gone to several open mike night's at the Comedy Club in LA and did her stand up routine. I was there for 2 of them and was so proud of her. She was funny and orginal and I was blown away by her courage to do such a scary thing. She was there for one of my first open mike night's at the Rose Tattoo in West Hollywood and I led a singalong of "Oh What A Beautiful Morning" dedicated to her! It was such an honor to see her laughing and singing along. I really wanted to do something special as she had done so much for me and been such a loving and supportive friend!

Here are photos from the afternoon/evening of their ceremony. It was a beautiful sunny, clear day. Perfect for a perfect couple!

Here I give a toast to them. I can't remember if I am holding something behind my back or whether I was keeping my fingers crossed that I didn't screw up!
Our table, some former co-workers as well.
L to R Mark Hassen (Creative) and his partner Gary - Tim Doran (Piansit w/Lei)
Behind Mark and Gary are Kirwan's partner Kirk Snyder, Kirwan Rockefeller - w/Lei (Mailroom Director) and me (blonde and w/Lei). The two gentlemen in the middle were Dawn's volunteer drivers for Project Angel Food, Bob Wildman and Herb Gore (standing).
Alex, Di, Dawn, Hallie and Evan

Dawn and Di cut the cake


Di and Dawn and the blessing of the Leis

Thank you Cathy Cloud

I was thinking back to 7th grade. I was in chorus taught by Miss Johnson, with my best friend Jimmy Mayo. I loved to sing but was so shy! I got the nerve to join the chorus because I could blend in. I was so afraid to sing solo but loved to sing.
I met a girl in class, Cathy Cloud. We became friends. I think we kind of dated. Yes dated!
I wish I could find her. We continued to go to Hayfield and thinks he graduated with me. She was good friends with Frances Hunt and they played girls soccor.
Cathy Cloud was the first person I sang in front of....well..over the phone. We would talk on the phone almost every night and she patiently would listen while I would sing into the phone. For what seemed like hours! God bless her! I remember the song "The Night the Light's Went Out in Georgia" by Vicki Lawrence came out. She bought me the album. I even got her to sing to me as well, over the phone. This was in the olden days before webcams etc.
She let me sing and sing and sing and this gave me some confidence. Little did she know that she was helping to plant the seed which would eventually allow me to have confidence to sing in front of people. I wish I could find her to thank her for her hours of patience and for giving me the chance to try my voice, to get a feel for singing for someone else and for finally...taking the chance on my own to sing and audition.
Along with Jimmy Mayo she gave me the chance to try. Because of her, Jimmy, Missy Ganoe, Rebecca Wilburn, Dick Westlake, Calvin Remsburg, I auditioned for "MAME" at Radford Unversity, and was off to the races. Thanks to Bobby Buchanan and Chuck Hayes and the chorus and vocal teachers at Radford.
Thanks to them...I have the confidence to sing...sing out loud..sing out strong!!!
Thanks for the music!

Sunny Sunday in New York - CLICK HERE

Another beautiful day! Thank you God!
I got up and went to church at Marble Collegiate. I took this photo on the way there at the corner of 29th and 5th. The Empire State Building is on 34th but from that angle I got our steeple and the Empire steeple!
David, Terry and Lynn were in one pew and I sat behind them as two other people sat in the pew at the far end.
Except for Terry being so tall, all was great.
A wonderful sermon. All about Jesus and the seeds and Good Soil! (I was one of the seeds who feel on Good Soil when we did "Godspell" in 1985!
Then, we closed the service singing "How Great Thou Art". Beautiful! So much wonderful music today. Gospel music and traditional music.
I found this video of Carrie Underwood singing "How Great Thou Art". Beautiful!
After church David and Terry headed uptown so I went down to the Center to the 1230 Intimacy meeting.
Then I headed home, changed, then did laundry! Clean clothes!
After that I went back up to midtown to the 5PM New But West meeting. Saw David and Lynn again. A good meeting.
David talked about visiting his mother and feeding her some cake. It made me remember feeding Dad water and Ensure when he was in the hospital. He couldn't eat so we just gave him water when he could drink it. I had to stop typing that as it brought back the tears. I never realized how much I would miss him. Very much!
I then went down to Chelsea to feed Dick and Dee Dee, Tom's cats. He is gone for the week so I am feeding them. They were happy to see me.
Since it was so nice I walked from Chelsea 21st and 8th down to the Village, through the West Village, cut through Tribeca and SoHo and got tired at Houston so jumped on the subway.
I got off at Rector though, on the 1 line, so walked past Trinity Church where Washington went after he was sworn in.
I got home, rested a bit then headed out again as it was still light and lovely!
I walked over to Wall Street. The Stock Exchange is straight down Nassau!!
I walked down Wall Street to Water street then walked over to the South Street Seaport. It was packed, so I cut back up Maiden Lane and went to the grocery store and bought healthy food!
Came home, ate and apple and now typing this.
Whew!
What a wonderful day.
I love my city. I am very blessed!

Sunny Saturday in the Park

These are my two favorite trees in Central Park. They look like they are reaching for each other!
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What a wonderful day!
I spent last night at David and Terry's place on 52nd and 8th as they went down to see David's mother in NC. So I went over last night and stayed with Beau.
It rained, no thunder, but lightening, so this morning it was cool and clear.
A perfect day!
I went to the 10AM New But West meeting, then walked around a bit, then went to the gym, then got a protein shake at Gold's Gym near Studio 54 and walked to Central Park.
It was HEAVENLY! Clear and a cool breeze blowing. So many people out enjoying the sunshine. I walked around Sheep's Meadow then back around. I took the above shot, which I've posted before, on the way back towards the entrance. This is near Columbus Avenue and 65th or so.
When I first got to the park I passed the Merry Go Round on the East side and they were playing "Georgy Girl". Once a couple of years ago when Paula and I walked through the park we saw Lynn Redgrave, not far from the Merry Go Round. I would have LOVED it if she walked by today and they were playing HER song!!
Then I went back and hung out with Beau. Channel surfed as he napped. David and Terry got back around 3 so I talked with them for a bit then came home.
Joey and Phillip were here so we talked for a bit then they left to go ride bikes.
I checked emails then headed to Greenwich Village to the Gay and Lesbian Center for the 6PM meeting.
Great meeting.
Afterwards went to the Den with Phil, Jeffrey and Sam.
Then we walked down to the Hudson River and looked out over the water towards Jersey City and Hoboken. It was a bit chilly but clear and beautiful. Then we walked along the West End Highway up to where we could cross and went up to the Highline. We walked along a few blocks till we got to the end. So many people were still out and about walking. It was so beautiful. They did a GREAT job with that.
Walked a bit more then we all disbanded to go our merry ways. I came back down to Wall Street area.
A perfect day!
Thank you God!
Up in the AM to go to Marble Collegiate with David and Terry and hopefully Lynn.
I am blessed!

Testify to Love and Friends CLICK HERE

The lyrics to TESTIFY TO LOVE
When I lived in Los Angeles I did two shows at the Cinegrill when it was in the main lobby level of the Hotel Rosevelt in Hollywood. New Faces of 1997 I believe.

Above is the first one I did.
L to R
Back row Kevin Sasaki, Steve Whiddon, Randy Smith, Bobby Buchanan
Front Rich Sienko, ME, John Downey

The second one I did was in the afternoon.
Back L to R Bruce Bailey, Mark Brinton, Susan Lurie
Front Mike Romero, Bobby Buchanan, ME and Kevin Sazaki.
I had just yelled at Kevin for being late coz it was hot hot hot and we only had the photog for a short time. Sorry Kevin.

Grease - The Beginning CLICK HERE

I had posted video footage from the 1983 production of GREASE which I did with the Fairlington Players. I was able to get a DVD copy from Phil Harris, the director from his videotape and it is MUCH clearere. I reposed some of the scenes.

Here is the beginning, with Peggy Mitchell as Miss Lynch, David Witt as Eugene, Jody Scott as Patty Simcox, along with the Pink Ladies and Greasers.

Ah memories!!!

Matthew Fairbank Design CLICK HERE

A friend of mine here in NY designs and builds furniture. I think it is amazing. He is such a sweet and caring young man as well.
Please pass along to friends if you know anyone looking for a unique and one of a kind piece of furniture or lighting.
UH MAY ZING!!!

Happy Birthday Jim and Mary

Today is my father's birthday. He would have been 80 today!!
It also is my Grandmother Mary Hammer's birthday. I can't remember how old she'd be, but well over 100.
Funny that they were both born on the same day!
And both true Cancers!
I miss them both!
Happy Birthday Jim!
Happy Birthday Mary!

Five Alive! - 5 Year Anniversary of moving to NYC!

Tonight marks my 5th Anniversary of moving to NYC. Tonight, 5 years ago, I slept in my new apt in Hells Kitchen. My brother Randy had helped me move some stuff and stayed a couple of days, but left earlier that day and this was my first night alone.
Also, 6 years ago today was my last day at Maple Drive Restaurant. I had been laid off due to changes in personnel. It turned out to be a blessing as I was able to go visit my father for his birthday July 13, 2003, then later, in Novemeber of 2003 I was able to go be with him and help him pass on, transitioning to the next life.
So, one never knows why and how things are and happen, but they do for a reason and it all culminated in my moving to NYC.
I love it here! I am not a Broadway star and I don't have the perfect partner, but I have a great life. I have a good job with excellant benefits, my health, many wonderful friends, my sobriety and a great apartment and wonderful roommate.
I am a blessed man and indeed grateful for all I have.
Thank you God and thank you Dad. Thank you NYC!
I spent tonight with friends: Eric, Phil, Jeffrey and Micheal. We went to a meeting, went to Baby Buddha in the Village, then walked down to the Hudson River by Christopher Street. The wind was blowing and cool. A beautiful night. We laughed, talked, walked, watched Eric and Jeffrey jumping from stone step to stone step in the courtyard of an art gallery/theatre. Eric saw Gerard Butler, the actor. I just saw his back as he turned the corner to get into his HUGE SUV.
We walked through the Village, a brief stop in a piano bar, Marie's Crisis, stood on the corner by Village Cigars and Eric had a waffle treat while Michael did arm movements on the corner. Fun, laughter and good friends.
Then we walked back to Eric's car as the rain started and I got on the subway, took the E down to World Trade Center and got out, walked past the World Trade Center site, to my apt.
A great day and a wonderful evening.
Look for Micheal's video on YouTube soon! :)

Beauty School Dropout - CLICK HERE

I posted this earlier but the director Phil Harris send me a DVD of his copy of the master video. Much better.
Meryl Maschel Hellring as Frenchy, Steve Daigler as Teen Angel, along with the female cast and a few chorus addtions.

Fun!

Think Bette Midler meets Fabian!

I IZ a Kolege Gradute

I graduated from Radford University in Radford, VA on May 28, 1982 with a B.A. in Journalism! Here is the proof!!
***************************************
I was SOOO hungover that morning...ugh...so SO glad I don't drink anymore. Bobby, Andy and I went to Blacksburg to party ONE last time the night before! Fun, but so, SO wish I'd not drank so much!!!
The approach. Either my Dad or Bobby Buchanan took these pics. My fellow German class student Jane Richardson is going down the steps in this photo.
This was the proof of the pic the offical photographer took. I didn't order it because my eyes are closed. I was thinking "is this a dream or is it really happening!!!"
The wave! And see the clock on the tower of Muse, the dorm where I lived for 2 years! Barely took a full 30 seconds!
The proof and the pose! Ah, success! Mine Mine all Mine!

Brian Compton, Susan Hodnett and me, with the open diploma!! Dad took this! We were both proud!!
I forgot Brian graduated the same day I did!

Thom Bierdz comes out on The Young & the Restless CLICK HERE

I got this email today from my friend Thom Bierdz.

Check it out. What an amazing plot twist and what a great way to bring him back.

Kudos to Thom and the writers!!
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Hello!
Thom Bierdz here.

Tuesday (Wednesday?) on The Young and the Restless, my character (Phillip Chancellor III) explains to his wife (Nina) the reason he faked his death 20 years ago was because... he is gay and couldn't come out at that homophobic time.

It is pretty complicated but here is the youtube clip of it. CLICK ABOVE


Please forward this to anybody who may be interested, or helped by Phillip's finally coming out of the closet. It is one of the main families in the number one soap opera. This summer The Young and the Restless will deal with Phillip Chancellor's homosexuality in a very enlightened, empowering way.

I am SO HONORED to play this part. Who woulda thought...20 years later!!

Thom Bierdz
author of Forgiving Troy

www.ThomBierdz.com

has more video and a dozen news articles from last week on this storyline.

CABARET Fairlington Players CLICK HERE

In late 1983 I did CABARET for the Fairlington Players.
Michael Noel was the Emcee. Kim Ellis was Sally Bowles.
Gloria Dugan directed.
Steve Harris choreographed.
In the chorus was: Kathleen Dunn, Renee Moyer, Nancy Kuhn, Susan Brock, Steve Daigler, Glenn Sartori, Dave Adams, Tim Rankin, ME and many more.

Despite my problems then with drugs and alcohol, I had a good time and the show itself was well done and well received.

Thank God for time and sobriety!

Port City Playhouse - PIPPIN CLICK HERE

In the winter of 1982 I did PIPPIN for Port City Playouse.
David Melzter was Pippin. We had such a good time. It was many from the cast of "Joseph" and this time, for about the last time, I was a dancer. Steve Harris choreographed and really helped us all get the steps.

I met up with him this past weekend and we has such a wonderful visit. He has really turned out to be quite the man, one we all knew he was.

Enjoy.

I am wearing the orange tights and the cape!

Dinner at Whole Foods and a Walk Along Battery Park

After a nap, I walked over to Whole Foods to get dinner. The one here in the World Trade Center area is HUGE!!! I had a healthy salad, then walked down along the Hudson River south of Tribeca towards Battery Park. I met up with my friends Glenn and Jason and we had a lovely walk. The sun was setting and the sky was so clear and colorful. My camera phone isn't the greatest, but here are some shots. A perfect ending to a perfect day! All within a 10 minute walk of my apt.
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As I crossed the highway across from Whole Foods and entered the park, this was to my right.

Just below that walkway is this park.

Further along the path is this fountain. Right after I took this photo a HUGE goldfish jumped up out of the water. He was camera shy!

As I got closer to Lady Liberty the sun was setting. This is from the other side and she's closer than the camera makes her look.

As the sun was setting, almost directly across from Glenn's apt. Jersey City

As I left Glenn and Jason, I passed these flowers, in the dark but still lovely!

Back and Forth on the Brooklyn Bridge

This is looking South, the Statue of Liberty is wayyyy in the distance on the right.

This is looking North up towards Empire State Building

This is looking straight down..ahhh water!!

This is about halfway across looking back towards Wall Street area. Manhattan

I just went for a walk on the Brooklyn Bridge. 20 mins across each way. It was crowded! Such a beauitful site though.
Went to church this morning, then a meeting at the Center, then home, the walk, now...nap time!

Great 4th of July NYC Style

This year the city decided to shoot off the fireworks on the West side of Manhattan. Lucky ME! David and Terry live on the 17th floor facing the Hudson River. So, they invited a few of us over, Vito and I included, so we met there at 730PM. We had hot dogs and hamburgers and chips and salsa and brownies, all the fixins, and the comfort of sitting in their living room and looking out there windows. We had a great view of all 5 barges. It was beautiful. They had the radio playing with the music from Macy's show so it was almost like being right there, but we were almost level with the fireworks and the view was amazing.
What a wonderful evening. Good friends, good food and all sober!!! Independence Day!!!
Thanks HP!!